I hit something bad and had to completely redo this whole thing...sigh. Anyway, we're doing Who am I poems. This is done with a poem generator, which is here. Here's my poem:
Hepsibah Lorna
Incurious, odd-smelling, clueless, curmudgeonly
Sister of Januice, Luppy Agatha, Jehosaphat Arthurmus, Joculina, and Cruikshanks Theodosious
Lover of licking horse nostrils, Brussels Sprout ice cream, and bull-dogging porcupines.
Who feels that everyone should do whatever she says, because why not? She knows better, no matter who you are. Who feels that cats are for patting on the head really hard, because secretly that's what they want. Who feel close to other people who eat skunk cabbage, because it's delicious and definitely food for the mind.
Who needs MANY more Tupperware lids to go with her collection of broken containers. Who needs buyers for her Kleenex sculptures. Who needs another ten children to mold into fine, upstanding, politically correct environmentalists. Who needs
a new electric car to reduce her carbon footprint, because heavens, that footprint must be shaking the pillars of the earth.
Who gives a dang about Kardassians, celebrities in general, and Britney Spears in particular. Who gives money to the President for all his most honorable activities. Who also gives good money to save Russian Babushkas from starving to death in their hovels in Russia, because they're all so helpless and appreciative.
Who fears that food isn't full enough of genetic alterations. Who fears that ants don't have what they need to take over the world. Who worries that her rear isn't big enough to make it to the Guinness Book of World Records.
Who would like to see fish making it to land on their own so as to have their day in court. Who would love it if everyone walked everywhere they went. Who wants half the occupants of Earth to take off for Mars (especially the smart half).
Resident of Paduka, 987, Cornhollio Way.
Klinkleheffer
©2021 by H. Linn Murphy
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