Page the Second


A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi. (In front of you, a precipice. Behind you, wolves.)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Weeping Angels

Last night we had my son's birthday party (only a month late). He wanted a Dr. Who birthday so we borrowed the little guy's 'fort' box and painted it to be the Tardis. I was sporting a towering migraine, so the crawling around on the floor painting was not fun, but now we have a big blue British police box in our yard. I doubt I'll ever forget my son's friend stumbling around inside the box and running into things.

I'd pondered what to wear for this shindig. Somehow the giant glob of fat guy and the toe headed military guy and the Ood didn't cut it. Finally I landed on one of my favorite of their characters: the Weeping Angel. That costume turned out to be a barrel of monkeys. The whole night was filled with people telling their friends to stop looking at me so I could eat, or blanching in fear when they found me looking over their shoulder. (Luckily the migraine eased up finally) The photo ops were fun and I was comfy all night in my toga. For Halloween I'll do the face paint to go with it.

The funniest happening of the night was when we were watching an episode. Dr. Who says to Harriet Jones, England's Prime Minister in the show, "Do you want to know the six words that will destroy the world?"
"What are the six words," she asks.
Then, as the Dr. whispers them in her ear, my youngest son blurts out, "You look fat in those jeans!"
It brought down the house!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Solar Serenade

The searing heat of summer flays like a blast furnace when the door opens. In the summer we become troglodytes hiding away in the relative coolness of our darkened houses.

Doughy, moon-like flab adheres to our bodies in gobbets because we do not come out until the merciless sun has passed the Prime Meridian. We buy machines to aid us in our quest for the lard-less body, and hide them away in the coolth of our 'caves'. Then we take vitamin D supplements and paint ourselves tan to mimic Sol's healthy rays.

Our pets are nocturnal. We have befriended the owls and mockingbirds, the rabbits and bats. The animals of the daylight have become brazen in their lack of human predators.

We do our work to the light of the summer moon. Even then, the remnant radiation of daylight rises in waves to the night sky, causing the light to shimmer. We pity those who must work when the sun is high, often taking them cool drinks of life-saving water--which does not stay cool very long. The sun dries our clothing but also rapidly rots away anything left outside.

Crops must be planted in the shade and ceaselessly watered. Often they wither before they have been in the ground a day. Those crops which do enjoy the scalding sunlight bear sharp spines and suck water like sponges.

Beware the super-heated desert wind. It can scour the face from an unwary traveler within seconds with its flying grit. It sweeps through off the desert and can lift the roof from a house as well as any tornado. I've seen it happen.

That said, wish you were here...:o)

Friday, June 3, 2011

Plastic Bag Civilization

I have decided that plastic bags have their own civilization. Bags are hardy (except when carrying pointy things or lots of cans), ubiquitous, and handy for carrying things.

Did I say ubiquitous? Bags are EVERYWHERE! I don't know how it is that I go on bag pogroms all the time--wiping out whole villages of bags in one fell swoop--and yet they still persist. I think bags breed like rabbits in the dark of the cupboard! I mean, what else do they have to do in there? If I didn't regularly send those plastic receptacles off to bag war, I'd no doubt be smothered in my sleep. I'm sure some unexplained murders could in reality be attributed to bored or malevolent bags.

You see bags ghosting down the street like tiny parachutes. You see them stuck on the cactus in the desert. At our house they go for everything from garbage bags to hauling wet swimming suits home from the pool.

And what's with the holey ones? Why would a store give you a bag that already has holes in the bottom? Are they hoping you'll come visit them again REALLY soon? 'Cause I do. I march right back in there and announce, "My tampons just fell RIGHT OUT OF THE BAG! I want a new box!" My children are so proud of me at that moment. I can tell. (Not true. I have enough children that they'd hogtie me in my sleep if I were THAT embarrassing.) Stores should keep the wounded bags in bag hospitals until their holes are healed and THEN send them out into the cold hard world. It's too much to ask of a wounded bag to carry the burdens they are asked to bear.

I have recently developed a bag rescue organization. Yes, all moneys may be sent to my address here in Hades, Arizona. For an example, I am developing new uses for bags as we speak. A few months ago I stuffed couch pillows with them. (Side note: said pillows are pretty worthless in a pillow fight.) I also twist a bag and use it to hang banananananas from the cupboard knobs. The banananananas still turn brown, but they have a great time swinging around on the doors.

For other ideas, send $359 and a self-addressed and stamped envelop to:
12345678 E. Itsreallyhothere street
Hades, Arizona

And enjoy your bags. They apparently love you.

3rd Annual Summer Treasure Hunt: Dig for Clues and Win! Contest

Welcome to our 3rd Annual “Summer Treasure Hunt: Dig for Clues and Win Contest!” This is becoming an exciting tradition, both for our sponsors and hopefully for all of you! 29 writer friends and I have banded together to present a month-long contest where we will give away a prize a day for the entire month of June. That’s right! 30 awesome prizes, running the gamut from books books books! (romances, fantasies, mystery/thrillers, inspirationals, children’s books, and various non-fiction), as well as Amazon gift cards, a Mary Kay gift set, a vinyl lettering gift certificate, a hand-sewn weekly planner with ribbon bookmark, a crocheted book tote with matching cell phone case, and again for you aspiring authors, TWO free edit/critiques of a partial manuscript. Many of the giveaways are open to International entries, though always check to be sure before you enter for a particular prize.

And how exactly do you enter for these amazing prizes? By following these rules:


You can send in one entry for each day’s prize, or only for those prizes that strike your fancy. The rules are simple:

(1) Go to the website or blog indicated for each day, find the answer to the question for that day, then email the answer with your name and AND MAILING ADDRESS to jdipastena@yahoo.com. I promise you will not wind up on any mailing lists. This is only to facilitate the receipt of your prize. All entries will be deleted at the end of the contest.

(2) Please send a separate entry for each day and type the day you are entering in the subject line. (Such as: Summer Treasure Hunt, June 1; Summer Treasure Hunt, June 2, etc).

(3) Deadline for each day: Midnight PST

(4) The winner will be contacted and announced on the day following the deadline.

All winners will be drawn by www.random.org.

You do not have to wait until the designated day to enter. You can start sending in your entries right now, or begin entering at any point along the way. And check back here each day between June 2nd – July 1st to read the names of the winners.

If you have any questions, please email Joyce DiPastena at jdipastena@yahoo.com.

And now…let the treasure hunt begin!

June 1

SPONSOR: Canda Mortensen

PRIZE: A $25 Amazon gift certificate

QUESTION: What is the title and artist of the Princess song on Newbie's playlist? (HINT: Scroll to the bottom of the blog and read “Newbie Teaser”. Match the number of “Princess” with the same number on the Playlist box (you may have to scroll down the playlist to find this, too). It will give you the title and artist.)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http:candamortensen.blogspot.com


WINNER: Melissa Brockett of Utah

ANSWER: "With You", by Chris Brown

June 2

SPONSOR: Jennifer Griffith

PRIZE: Delicious Conversation (LDS romance, an adaptation of Jane Austen's Persuasion, set in a chocolate shop in Salt Lake City), by Jennifer Griffith

QUESTION: Name at least 5 kinds of candy I ate at the last writers' conference I attended AND share YOUR favorite candy. (HINT: Read the April 20, 2011 post. Click on April under the Blog Archive in the right hand sidebar.)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://cottoncandy4thesoul.blogspot.com/


WINNER: Crystal Dotson of West Virginia
ANSWER: peanut brittle bar, a box of Good 'n Plenty, some Hot Tamales, a handful of mini-Mr. Goodbars, a few Hershey's Kisses, Starlight Mints, some Dr. Pepper (accidentally), and a bunch of mint flavored Three Musketeers

June 3

SPONSOR: Peggy Urry

PRIZE: Choice of book: Villette by Charlotte Bronte (romance, paperback); Airframe by Michael Crichton (thriller, paperback); The Body Farm by Patricia Cornwell (contemporary crime, paperback); OR The Mist of Quarry Harbor by Liz Adair (LDS romantic fiction, paperback); AND choice of Jelly Belly Gel Case for iPhone 3G/3GS or Jelly Belly Strawberry Cheesecake Gel Case for iPod Touch.

QUESTION: What is the name of my Work In Progress (WIP)? (Hint: It's the title of my March 12, 2011 post. Click on “March” under Blog Archive in the right hand sidebar.)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://peggyurry.blogspot.com/


WINNER: Judy Cox of Louisiana

June 4

SPONSOR: Danielle Thorne

PRIZE: Josette (sweet Regency romance, E-book) AND Southern Girl, Yankee Roots (poetry), both by Danielle Thorne

QUESTION: Danielle supports what wildlife conservancy organization? (HINT: See right hand column of website)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.daniellethorne.com


WINNER: Rachel Rossano of Connecticut

ANSWER:The Sea Turtle Conservancy

June 5

SPONSOR: Bonnie Harris

PRIZE: Mary Kay Microdermabrasion Set

QUESTION: What are the names of my two WIPs? (HINT: Scroll to the bottom of the blog and click on “Work in Progress” under Labels)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http:// www.bonnieharris.blogspot.com


WINNER:Taffy Lovell of Utah

ANSWER:Encoded Secrets and Black Orchids

June 6

SPONSOR: Susan Kaye Quinn

PRIZE: Autographed copy of Life, Liberty, and Pursuit (YA love story), by Susan Kaye Quinn

QUESTION: How many days do David and Eliza have on the cruise together, before they’re forced to go their separate ways? (HINT: Click on the “About Me and My Books” tab and read the blurb for Life, Liberty, and Pursuit)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://ink-spells.blogspot.com


Winner: LuAnn Morgan of Washington
Answer to today's question: Four

June 7:

SPONSOR: Anne Bradshaw

PRIZE: True Miracles with Genealogy: Help from Beyond the Veil (non-fiction), by Anne Bradshaw – 1 print and 1 eBook – Print copy can be autographed. (Yes, there will be TWO winners drawn for this prize)

QUESTION: Which TV station interviewed Anne? (HINT: Answer is a short way down the middle column.)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://truemiracleswithgenealogy.com


Winners: Dee Bibb from Mississippi and Cynthia Peck from Arizona
Answer to today's question: KCSG

June 8

SPONSOR: Cheri Schmidit

PRIZE: Autographed copy of Fateful (YA paranormal romance), by Cheri Schmidt

QUESTION: Who is the prince of darkness? (HINT: Click on “April” under Blog Archive in the left hand sidebar and read the April 12, 2011 post)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://cherischmidt.blogspot.com/


Winner: Kristen Tucker of Arizona
Answer to today's question: Lucas

June 9

SPONSOR: Mary Fremont Schoenecker

PRIZE: Moonglade (a sweet cozy mystery, Book Two in the Maine Shore Chronicles series), by Mary Fremont Schoenecker The prize is an autographed First Edition hard cover print book.

QUESTION: What special skill does character Tante Margaret use that puts her in danger during Remi's murder investigation? (HINT: Click on the “About Her Books” tab and read the Publisher’s Weekly Review.

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.maryschoenecker.com


Winner: Monica Knoll of New York
Answer to today's question: Tante Margaret is clairvoyant

June 10

SPONSOR: Shaunna Gonzales

PRIZE: FREE edit and/or critique of first 50 pages

QUESTION: What do his lips taste like? (Hint: click on “Sizzling Kiss” under Post Subjects in the left hand sidebar)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.shaunnagonzales.blogspot.com


Winner: Nicole Zoltack of Pennsylvania
Answer to today's question: gingerbread and milk

June 11

SPONSOR: Donna Hatch

PRIZE: The Stranger She Married (Regency romance), by Donna Hatch

QUESTION: What poses the greatest danger to Alicia’s heart? (HINT: Scroll down underneath the book cover of The Stranger She Married, and read the paragraph directly below.

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.donnahatch.net/bookshelf.htm


Winner: Amy Wheelwright of Washington
Answer to today's question: learning to love the stranger she married

June 12

SPONSOR: Cindy R. Williams & Planet Play Productions, LLC.

PRIZE: Award winning glossy cover children’s snuggle, giggle picture book, Chase McKay Didn’t Get Up Today, signed by the author and the real Chase McKay.

QUESTION: What is the name of the dragon in the upcoming fantasy, Thundertail’s Tale: The Legend? (HINT: click on the Blog tab)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.cindyRwilliams.com


Winner: Andrea Melton of Kentucky
Answer to today's question: Sparkin

June 13

SPONSOR: Larry Hammersley

PRIZE: Motorcycle Woman (sweet contemporary romance, E-book), by Larry Hammersley

QUESTION: What kind of motorcycle does Tess, the motorcycle woman, ride? (HINT: Read the blog post “Motorcycle Woman from Red Rose Publishing”, May 5, 2011)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://larryhammersley.blogspot.com/


Winner: Shannon Johnson of Illinois
Answer to today's question: Harley Davidson Sportster

June 14

SPONSOR: Cheryl Cory

PRIZE: Autographed copy of Must've Done Something Good (romantic comedy), by Cheryl Cory

QUESTION: What is Sylvie's all-time favorite movie? (HINT: Click on the "Info" link in the left-hand column)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.facebook.com/MustveDoneSomethingGood


Winner: Tarrah Montgomery of Arizona
Answer to today's question: The Sound of Music

June 15

SPONSOR: Valerie Ipson

PRIZE: $15 Gift Certificate for Vinyl Lettering (http://vinylsignsanddesigns.blogspot.com)

QUESTION: What is Valerie's writing goal for 2011? (HINT: Look in the right hand sidebar)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http:// valerieipson.blogspot.com


Winner: Kristen Tucker of Arizona
Answer to today's question: To pitch the book

June 16

SPONSOR: Rachel Rager

PRIZE: Wednesday Romances - romance (obviously), ebook, by Rachel Rager. This is a compaliation of three different love stories, A Season for Love, The Tiger Unleashed, and The Feather Kiss. (All sweet romances)

QUESTION: Every week I have post a new chapter of a book on my blog. What are these posts called? (Hint: These posts are featured every Wednesday.)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://rachelrager.blogspot.com


Winner: Susan Arroyo
Answer to today's question: Wednesday Romances

June 17

SPONSOR: Danyelle Ferguson

PRIZE: Autograhed copy of (dis)Abilities and the Gospel: How to Bring People with Special Needs Closer to Christ (non-fiction/self-help) by Danyelle Ferguson & Lynn Parsons, M.S.)

non-fiction/self-help, autographed book

QUESTION: What is the name of the non-profit Danyelle co-founded? (HINT: Check out Danyelle's author bio)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.danyelleferguson.com/


Winner: Amber Nielson of Vermont
Answer to today's question: Friends of GIANT Steps

June 18

SPONSOR: Teresa Thomas Bohannon

PRIZE: A Very Merry Chase (Regency Romance novel), by Teresa Thomas Bohannon. AND a $5 Amazon gift certificate. Winner's Choice: PDF with personalized dedication, or Ebook format for Kindle or Epub format for Nook. (HINT: Read “A Very Merry Chase Excerpt” under “A Very Merry Chase” in the right hand sidebar)

QUESTION: What did Lady Bethany do and why?

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.ladysilk.net


Winner: Gayle Humpherys of Texas
Answer to today's question: Lady Bethany, shocked absolutely to the core of her gentle soul, could take no more and swooned dead away...because Sabrina slapped the highwayman and cursed.

June 19

SPONSOR: Diane Daniels

PRIZE: Autographed copy of Over the Moon (YA fantasy romance, print copy), by Diane Daniels

QUESTION: Who is Andrew's evil x-girlfriend, Sonya, named after? (HINT: Read the May 14, 2011 blog entry)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.overthemoonseries.com/


Winner: Megan Swanson of California
Answer to today's question: "Sonya is named after my wicked orange cat who died last summer."

June 20

SPONSOR: Margaret Larsen Turley

PRIZE: critique for up to 5000 words

QUESTION: Margaret Larsen Turley is administrator for ______________________________ group. They hold fund-raising events for Cancer Research. (HINT: You’ll find the answer in one of her website tabs)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://margaretlarsen.com/


Winner: Rachel Rossano of Connecticut
Answer to today's question: Writers Unite to Fight Cancer

June 21

SPONSOR: Anna Arnett

PRIZE: Autographed copy of Lolly's Yarn: a memoir (older YA to adult), by Anna Arnett, with a hand-crocheted bookmark

QUESTION: What was the verdict regarding Anna's radar photo speeding ticket? (HINT: Click on the Blogs tab and read “I Fought the Law and Guess Who Won?”

WEBSITE/BLOG: htt:www.annaarnett.com


Winner: Debbie Roberts of Pennsylvania
Answer to today's question: No definition of "reasonable and prudent" or "Case dismissed," or "You may go now."

June 22

SPONSOR: Joyce DiPastena

PRIZE: Autographed copy of Loyalty’s Web (sweet medieval romance), by Joyce DiPastena

QUESTION: How do people win Joyce’s “Light Bulb Award”? (HINT: Answer is found in the right hand column of the blog)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://jdp-news.blogspot.com


Winner: Barbara Hightower of South Carolina
Answer to today's question: By helping her solve a particularly knotty problem with her WIP

June 23

SPONSOR: C. Michelle Jefferies

PRIZE: 52 page hand-sewn weekly planner, with ribbon bookmark.

QUESTION: What rank is Michelle in martial arts? (HINT: Look in right hand sidebar under “MY TANG SOO DO PROGRESS”)

WEBSITE/BLOG: HTTP://cmichellejefferies.blogspot.com


Winner: Jennifer Hernandez of North Carolina
Answer to today's question: Red belt

June 24

SPONSOR: Valerie J. Steimle

PRIZE: Choice of two books: Home Is Where The Learning Is (homeschool how-to book, non-fiction; autographed print copy) OR Dogs, Blogs and Hobbits: Writings from a Widows Perspective ---(non-fiction articles about everything from being single and single moms to inspirational stories; autographed print copy), both by Valerie J. Steimle

QUESTION: How many children does Valerie have? (HINT: Look in the right hand column in "About Me")

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://valeriesteimle.blogspot.com/


Winner: Amy Lopez of Arizona
Answer to today's question: Nine

June 25

SPONSOR: Karen Adair

PRIZE: Crocheted Book Tote with matching cell phone case.

QUESTION: What commenter recently called me (Karen) "The Queen of Sugar Land?" (HINT: Select “January 2011” under Archives and read the COMMENTS on Karen’s January 6, 2011 post on “The 20 Minute Sprint”)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://www.kbadair.com


Winner: Sheila Heather Martinez of California
Answer to today's question: Shannon Hale

June 26

SPONSOR: Jaimey Grant (www.jaimeygrant.com) and/or TreasureLine Books & Publishing (www.treasurelinebooks.com)

PRIZE: Winner's choice of 1 of 5 Regency romance eBooks by Jaimey Grant (Honor, Betrayal, Deception, Spellbound, or Redemption. Please note: Honor contains some marital "heat".)

QUESTION: Which of Jaimey's previously self-published titles has recently been picked up by a publisher? (HINT: Click the "Purchasing Options" tab)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http:// www.jaimeygrant.com


Winner: Dara Roberts of Pennsylvania
Answer to today's question: Heartless

June 27

SPONSOR: Heidi Murphy

PRIZE: Autographed copy of Small Deceptions (sweet Regency/Georgian romance), by H. Linn Murphy

QUESTION: In what country is the bridge found over which 'we' were fighting? (HINT: Find “Blog Archive” in the right hand sidebar, click on April and read the post titled: “The Far Bridge”)

WEBSITE/BLOG: www.murph4slaw.blogspot.com


Winner: Brenda Child of Utah
Answer to today's question: France

June 28

SPONSOR: Kenneth Rosenberg

PRIZE: One e-book copy of my new romantic comedy, Sweet Ophelia and the Tinseltown Blues, any format

QUESTION: What instrument does the character Warren August play? (HINT: Click on the cover image for Sweet Ophelia and the Tinseltown Blues. Read the first few paragraphs of the excerpt.)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http:// www.kennethrosenberg.com


Winner: Susan G. Haws of Arizona
Answer to today's question: Saxophone

June 29

SPONSOR: Michael Young

PRIZE: Autographed copy of The Last Archangel (YA Urban Fantasy, print copy - Release date July 14th)

QUESTION: What is the name of the fallen angel who is the main character in "The Last Archangel"? (HINT: Click on the Reviews tab. Frank Cole thinks this character “rocks!”

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://thelastarchangel.weebly.com


Winner: Marie Kacerosky of Florida
Answer to today's question: Xandir

June 30

SPONSOR: Joan Sowards

PRIZE: The Star Prophecy: a Book of Mormon Adventure (LDS novel), by Joan Sowards

QUESTION: Why do Enoch and his friends sail to Jerusalem? (HINT: Read the blurb under The Star Prophecy book cover in the right hand column of the blog)

WEBSITE/BLOG: http://joansowards.blogspot.com


Winner: Jessica Tidd of California
Answer to today's question: To find the Christ child


Well. Here comes the litany of excuses for my inattentiveness here. You might as well sit back and have the popcorn ready to hand.

It's summertime--the slack season when I get much less written. My teenagers are home making noise and needing the stiff end of my boot to do anything beyond watching movies and playing video games. For some strange reason, several wasp's nests are daunting enough to them that they feel unable to spend any more than about 2 1/2 minutes cleaning the shed.

So I've been doing battle with said nests with some kitchen tongs and a flyswatter. To date I've stomped two nests and am needing to find the Mother Ship. The busy little stingers try to inhabit all my bird houses too. Stinky wasps. At any rate, I am hoping my example of fearless persistence has been enough to shake the offspring from their torpor.


Less amusing: on the day of my daughter's promotion, my eldest son's arm began to turn purple. It would have been a lovely color if it hadn't been so alarming. I immediately thought of blood clot but couldn't imagine a person so young getting one. So I had him moving it around and massaging it to no avail. After the promotion I called my hubby who turned out to be on his way home anyway. Lon took Perry in and it did indeed turn out that he had a blood clot in his shoulder.

So while I went to my second son's high school graduation, Lon sat in the ER with Perry. Two days later Perry got out and is now on blood thinners. The strange thing is that I wasn't worried. I know the Lord has a plan and this may have been His way of giving Perry a little honorable reprieve before Perry's mission for our church. Now he needs to go get another job to help pay for it all.

Hunter graduated from high school. His grades weren't stellar but he was quite busy with many good things ie. 3 choirs, several plays, a musical, swim team, and finishing his Eagle project. That last month was chuck full of concerts, awards nights, and parties. I'm so glad he wasn't out getting drunk or stoned or laid. He's a fantastic boy with loads of talent.

Courtney and Jessa play cello and violin in the Tucson Jr. strings and their school orchestras, meaning they had 4 performances. Barret plays tenor sax and he shared one of Jessa's performances. Plus there were rehearsals to take them to. The lovely thing is listening to all that good music. They're finally getting out of the lower symphonias which are much less pleasant to listen to.

Jessa had her Nat'l. Jr. Honor Society awards assembly too. She worked quite hard this year and got wonderful grades. We're so proud of her. It definitely makes up for the many times she brained the boys with their toy trucks. Who'd have thunk it?

We spent hours and hours helping Hunter work on his Eagle Project. He made gates and a fence for Colossal Cave Nat'l. Monument (at least I think it's a monument). I'm so glad that project is done as it is over ten miles away. There were several set-backs and hitches but we were blessed with kind donors and a great amount of help (you reap what you sow). Now he can say to his grandkids, "Look! I built that fence and those gates! (If, that is, they don't get wrecked by having kids swing on them.)

Last but not the least of my excuses, I have been trying to be a good example by not using the computer so much so we can save money. Since it's harder for me to write when my children are awake, I've been spending more time on my manuscripts in the morning and less time here. I have two MS in Beta testing as I write this.

That, my friends, is the whiny set of reasons why my posts have been sparse of late. I shall endeavor to do better. It doesn't look like things will let up any time soon. I know I've forgotten things too. I was supposed to go to cub camp in there somewhere but nobody let me know when, so I think I missed it. Bad dog, no biscuit.

Life is a roller coaster. Sometimes you barf over the side and hope it doesn't hit you on the loop-the-loop. Wheeeeeeee!