National Poetry Month--Day 12--Quinzaine--So HOT!!!--plus

 

We're doing Quinzaine Poems today. If you want to know how to do one, go here. Otherwise, mine are below: 

Sunny oven in summer

Why is it so hot?

Grow more weeds.

 ©2022 by H. Linn Murphy

We recently had a General Conference for our church. One of the leaders got a note from a little boy who had had it with all the boring sitting around listening. These are their words:

Why is conf'rence so boring?

Why do we do it?

Salvation.

Getting Out of the Oven is Not an Option

williambbrandt.hubpages.com

All right. It's freakin' HOT. I'd get third degree steering wheel burns if I didn't wear gloves. The birds are complaining because their birdhouses aren't air conditioned. I used to wonder why birds flew North for the summer. Now I know. It's because they'd have hard-boiled eggs in their nests. It's so hot that even with the coughworthlesscough swamp cooler on, I look like I just oozed out of the shower. I sure don't smell like it. I smell like I just slogged out of a swamp. Thus the swamp. Not the cooler.

Cooler than what, I ask you? Cooler than the inside of a volcano? Debatable. Cooler than my dad's den after he found out I got a C in Algebra? Barely. Cooler than satan's workshop? Nope. He comes here to get toasty. The Hubs seems to think Death Valley is warmer. I wonder. It can't be all that much hotter. At least there are traveling rocks in Death Valley. Here, nobody does anything outside if they can possibly help it. Funeral for your grandma? Sorry Granny. You're already taking a dirt nap. I'm about to really buy the farm here. See the clothes sizzling? It's not 'cause I'm a babe.

So what's a girl to do? There are just so many clothes you can take off and still be decent. For some reason the kids scream if I wear my preferred outfit. It does tend to scare off JWs and kids selling candy. (Note to self: Stop letting the Hubs answer the door when the Stick Figure comes to sell him stuff.)

We actually went out last summer (a cooler summer than this one, I might add) to the driveway to test my theory that we could bake cookies on the hood of the car. Probably with a few more hours they'd have been done to a nice golden brown. Unfortunately a haboob came up and we took them prematurely inside, not liking gritty cookies. We did try  making scrambled eggs on the car seat, though. They came out grand. There you go. Breakfast in your car on the way to work, if you can do it before your brains boil.

The heat's why they yell around here about leaving your babies (they don't care about the rest of the population apparently), pets, plants, gold fillings, battleships, old refrigerators, iron bedsteads, glass chess sets, welding apparatus, Justin Booboo CD's, and brass pokers in the car. They tend to melt faster than that green witch in the Wizard of Oz. Ever tried to get melted dog off your upholstery? It's miserable.

Day 24--3-5-3 Poems

Summer Haze

weatherwizkids.com

Fan clicking
As it wafts me
Back to life.

Summer heat

Wilting 'til the rain

Lets me breathe.

Monsoons here

Sizz'ling drops of joy

Clear the air.

Solar Serenade

The searing heat of summer flays like a blast furnace when the door opens. In the summer we become troglodytes hiding away in the relative coolness of our darkened houses.

Doughy, moon-like flab adheres to our bodies in gobbets because we do not come out until the merciless sun has passed the Prime Meridian. We buy machines to aid us in our quest for the lard-less body, and hide them away in the coolth of our 'caves'. Then we take vitamin D supplements and paint ourselves tan to mimic Sol's healthy rays.

Our pets are nocturnal. We have befriended the owls and mockingbirds, the rabbits and bats. The animals of the daylight have become brazen in their lack of human predators.

We do our work to the light of the summer moon. Even then, the remnant radiation of daylight rises in waves to the night sky, causing the light to shimmer. We pity those who must work when the sun is high, often taking them cool drinks of life-saving water--which does not stay cool very long. The sun dries our clothing but also rapidly rots away anything left outside.

Crops must be planted in the shade and ceaselessly watered. Often they wither before they have been in the ground a day. Those crops which do enjoy the scalding sunlight bear sharp spines and suck water like sponges.

Beware the super-heated desert wind. It can scour the face from an unwary traveler within seconds with its flying grit. It sweeps through off the desert and can lift the roof from a house as well as any tornado. I've seen it happen.

That said, wish you were here...:o)