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A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi. (In front of you, a precipice. Behind you, wolves.)

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

I AM--A Month of Poetry "30 Poems in 30 Days" April #National Poetry Month


Today I'm writing an I AM poem. If you'd like the matrix for this one, go here

I'd also like to say that my family does say some really nice things to me. I'm not saying they're ogres...:o) They're not. I have a family much like anyone else's. 

I Am…
 
I am buoyant but sinkable.
I wonder if a body can contain both those things at once.
I hear that fear can rob one of light and lightness.
I see too often that I let that spark go dim and the fear that I'm not good enough or worth enough takes over.
I want to feel God's arms around me and hear him telling me that I am enough.
I am buoyant but sinkable.
 
I pretend that a whole Happy Place family whispers sweet things to me.
I feel them hugging me and holding my hand.
I touch them back, but there really isn't anyone there.
I worry that I spend too much time making up things for them to say instead of accepting the reality of my family.
I cry sometimes in the night, thinking how big the disparity often is.
I am buoyant but sinkable.
 
I understand that the Lord loves everyone, and I will feel that love if I am patient.
I say Christ justified everything--evened it out and built fairness into our seemingly unfair lives.
I dream of the day when my mortal flaws and theirs fall away and we see things as they are, shorn of pretense and judgment.
I try to learn patience.
I hope I will always hear God's voice in my head, telling me I am His.
I am sinkable but buoyant.

© 2017 by H. Linn Murphy

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