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A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi. (In front of you, a precipice. Behind you, wolves.)

Thursday, May 28, 2015

The Craziness Escalates

I haven't posted in a while because A. I'm getting ready for my daughter's wedding and in charge of someone else's, B. I'm doing re-writes on my Sunrise Over Scipio book in preparation for its second printing, C. I'm training our new puppy, D. Doing portraits I owed people and E. My youngest daughter just graduated from high school. Now only one son left.

I thought this summer things would slow down a bit. Not a chance in sight. It's totally crazy around here. We're hand sewing mint green ties and trying to get the dog not to poop in the house and he's tearing around like a crazy thing, making us laugh our heads off.

I pause in the midst of this to be petrified. Too soon it'll be just B and the Hubs and me, and then B will be gone. I'm both dreading and anticipating the pall of silence that will accompany The Leaving.

I feel like the life blood of this place is leaching into the sere desert coleche and I could desiccate along with the hulks of last October's pumpkins which I toss into the compost heap (I delude myself will someday it will nourish a garden). The new music will go, and knowledge about how to use most of the devices they've grown up with. The trickles and floods of laughter will ebb away down the cracks of the thirsty ground, leaving me and my Hubs--the guy who talks to himself constantly and me rarely--to knock around in our suddenly empty house like two marbles. O.o

 I don't want to sit here pickling in my juices. There are things to do. For one thing, I have to figure out how to pry my youngest barnacle away from his computer mother ship. Swim! Be free, my not-so-small fry. Move before you calcify and become affixed somewhere you don't wish to stay for the rest of your life.

I want to see new places, do new things, learn what it is to live in that sphere, to Become. I want to bloom, opening out my petals to the light of the Son, breaking free of the darkness.

I suppose it'll be the time to finally figure 'IT' all out. The time to go forward with courage and a sense of adventure. The time to finally figure out my Rubics Cube husband and stop trying to take off the color stickers to cheat.

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