Thor Lives on My Street!

Thor lives on my street! I'm convinced it's him because there are signs up all over the neighborhood asking if anyone's seen his hammer. I even have his phone number. Unfortunately, I doubt he looks like Chris Hemsworth.

I'm pondering what it would be like to have a superhero living nearby. It seems like every time you see one, lots of infrastructure is getting ruined. You see them crashing into buildings all the time and they never toss off a "Sorry about the loss of your skyscraper" or anything. They just merrily go about the business of offing the bad guy as the shards of glass and drywall shower to the ground.

And the bullets. Bullets are flying everywhere. Never mind that bullets rarely kill the bad guy even though every bad guy known to man is a sucky shot. Bullets fly around and tag total strangers. Mostly those strangers are running for their lives, granted.

It's all about collateral damage. I'm wondering if, on the scale of life, that particular bad guy was worth taking out a whole section of town. Was he worth three city buses and a baby in a buggy? Is there a list somewhere of what a villain is worth in the way of damages wreaked?

I suppose it would be nice to have the crime gone from my section of town. But it seems like crime seeks out these superheros. This means my section of town could become not safer, but a target for more crime.

Maybe I'm going to go find that stupid hammer and get Thor to move somewhere else. Or buy him another hammer.