Page the Second


A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi. (In front of you, a precipice. Behind you, wolves.)

Friday, October 19, 2012

Phlegmatic Dilemma

I ask you, how does the human body produce such a prodigious amount of phlegm and not lose at least a half ton of weight?

I have had bronchitis and a cold for well over a month by now and I am beginning to wonder. Is there some kind of black hole leading into my sinus cavity accessible only by legions of phlegmbots? Have I angered some kind of Fairy Godmother of Snot? Are there Oompa Loompas in charge of refilling my bottomless tanks of goop? Call in Dr. Who. There are blobs to destroy.

Seriously. With this much nose blowing and horking up blobs of greenish goo, there should be some kind of weight loss. I suppose there isn't because it's being off-set by not working out due to being SICK. Sigh. I have things to do. I don't want to spend all my nights sitting upright in the easy chair in the living room. 

(By the way, who called it an easy chair? It's not easy sleeping in it! It's Hard!)

I have to get back to saving floating space men. There are enemy ships to explode. There are children to beat (okay...haul around) and force into servitude (in their own rooms, cleaning up their own junk). There is a mountain of filthy clothing to tackle (I shall conquer it anon). I'd like to be able to sing in the Stake choir soon. And at some point I've got to quit putting off dinner with the missionaries. So, things to do, now. 

I've done the echanasia (Spell check keeps coming up with euthanasia. Do you think they're trying to tell me something?) thing and the sleeping loads thing and the blowing my brains out thing, to no avail. I'm still so full of goop that my jaw ached last night. I'm thinking sinus infection. Yay. 

Anywho, this is my excuse for not being much on the computer these days. Snot and the fact that I just finished writing my book A Terrible Majesty yesterday!

No comments:

Post a Comment